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Adopting Across Ethnic Lines
by Luke Frolich
http://www.tlcadoptions.com
Adoption is often a stressful time for the new child and
the adopting family. No one knows just what to expect, as
each person has a distinct personality. They also must deal
with adjusting to a new life and variations in background.
Biracial adoption can add an extra level of stress for some
families. For example, parents may wonder if the new son
or daughter will feel out of place due to physical or
cultural differences that could be obvious. The child may
wonder if he or she truly fits in with these other people
who seem so different in certain ways.
Experts in the field tend to believe that a biracial
adoption can go smoothly if certain guidelines are
followed. The responsibility for making the child feel
accepted falls to the new parents. Some of the things they
can do are let the child be active in certain cultural
activities or beliefs held by their original ancestors.
When possible, the family should incorporate elements from
both their culture and that of the child in their day-to-
day living. The family needs to take into consideration
that the child may behave or believe according to customs
from their family or country of origin.
There are many ways to include cultural elements in a
family situation. For instance, a Native American child
could enjoy an opportunity to visit a regional tribal
celebration. If at all possible, becoming acquainted with
another family of the same ethnic origin as your adopted
son or daughter can help the child better grasp some of the
cultural issues. Another option is to regularly frequent
restaurants where childhood foods are prepared, for
instance, an Asian child might enjoy visiting an Asian
restaurant.
Adoptive parents need to help preserve and respect their
new child's previous culture. Simple steps, like learning
phrases of the child's native language, making efforts to
celebrate holidays or special events, and visit cultural
museum, concert or showing can be helpful in showing the
child that they are special and their culture is respected.
Of course, you should plan that it will take some time for
your adopted child to become integrated into your family
and your culture. Some cultures may value skills that our
culture shuns. For instance, thievery is sometimes viewed
as a skill that reflects the ability of the thief. Your
adoptive child might try something in hopes of gaining your
approval. You'll have to take time to calmly explain how
that behavior is not appropriate in this culture and
clarify your expectations for appropriate behavior in your
family.
Children who evidently represent a race that is different
from that of the rest of the family may become the victim
of taunts or bullying at school or in the neighborhood. Be
prepared to educate the kids~ friends who come to visit.
Discuss the situation with school authorities to see how
best to remedy the problem.
Biracial adoption can be incredible successful and bring
many benefits to parents and children. But the family has
to make an effort to plan for problems and address any
surprise issues and concerns that will undoubtedly arise
throughout the course of the child's life.
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